The Pursuit of Perfection and how it Harms Writers

by eliwinfield in Musings, Updates

‘Yvsma, Put your Hands in the Air!’

by eliwinfield in Events, Novels, Updates

A little light summer reading!  My first novella.

‘Yvsma, Put your Hands in the Air!’.

‘Yvsma, Put your Hands in the Air!’

by eliwinfield in Events, Novels, Updates

Dear Reader,

I did it!  I finally pushed the button.   North Watch Keep went live yesterday on Amazon.

North Watch Keep

North Watch Keep

North Watch Keep is famous for its orchards and the family connections to the fey. Suspicious when he had not heard from his cousins for months, the king sends his Hound of Justice, Sir Kelvrin, to find out what is going on at North Watch. Posing as a soldier for hire, Kelvrin discovers the family has been murdered and the Keep occupied by Lord Geoffry of Gwen Myer, whose men are hunting the villagers for sport. Only emotionally scarred Lady Beth remains of the family, eking out her existence as the village healer. Then Lord Geoffry’s men try to kill Kelvrin when they realize they cannot buy his loyalty away from the king. (Novella, 16K words)

It isn’t high literature, but it is a fun story and I love it.  It is a medieval fantasy romance, just a little light summer reading, perfect for the beach or the cottage.

Pushing that button was harder than I thought it would be, and yet not as hard as I thought it would be.  I am excited, terrified and humbled all at the same time.  I had the same feeling that you get  right before the long drop on the roller coaster, the one when the person beside you is yelling  ‘All right!  Put your hands in the air!’  and you are holding on to the bar for dear life thinking ‘What have I just done?’  There is that high when you realize that you just might have Readers. When I went to the bank to sort out all the bank information for royalties my banker actually took a screen shot of the page for his wife so she could read my book.   And the low while you wait for someone, anyone, to write that first review.  A little silly, since Preston has read my novella and told me face to face he likes it.

I don’t think I could have managed to push the button without Cindy from Guelph Write Now who walked me through the process.  Or Preston whose absolute faith in my writing had gotten me over more than one hurdle in the last two years.  Or my family, particularly my children, who have watched and listened to me agonize through the whole process.  Youngest told me on Sunday (coming home from the Publishing on Amazon workshop)  that I ‘just had stage fright’ and that I would get over it.   Yesterday she was laughing and started quoting ‘Emperor’s New Groove’ when I started hyperventilating after pushing the button.  If she could have managed a video with her two casts, she would have taken one of me dancing around the living room like a total fool when I sold my very first book.

There is nothing quite like it.

I’m sure at some point I will look back on this novella and think of all the things I could have done differently.  You know:  the email list, the funnel, the marketing work, all those things that you are supposed to have in place before you push the button.   But, right now?  Today I’m grinning like a Cheshire cat because I sold six novellas on the first day!

So, if you are looking for a little light reading, perfect for the beach or cottage, check out ‘North Watch Keep’ by Eli Winfield.

Stubborn Irritating Fuzzy Muse

by eliwinfield in Musings, Novels, Updates

Stubborn Irritating Fuzzy Muse.  When your muse stops  talking to you, there is sometimes a reason.

Writing is like breathing…

by eliwinfield in Musings, Novels, Updates

Something I read recently reminded me that writers, ‘real writers’ (whatever that phrase means) write because they have to write.  Even if no one ever reads their work, or hates their work, or everyone lauds their work, they write.  Why?  Well, because writing is really like breathing, absolutely necessary for life.

I’ve always written. Characters romp through my head and through my dreams and writing them down is the only way to get them out of my head. This is why I have a gazillion muse bombed manuscripts hanging around my house, and my kids know the stories I tell in all their variations.  Except for a very few short years when my babies were young and I was struggling with a long term potentially crippling illness, I have written.  My muse spews stories from one end to the other in a mostly linear line (well, most of the time, anyway; I can’t say the Finder is following this pattern) and I rush to keep up with the scenes running full cinema through my head.  But can I say this thing I call writing actually adding something to the world?  There are days I don’t know, days that I think that my writing is just a series of vignettes, not a story that shows how and why the character changes.

Let me explain.  Recently,  I read Write Your Novel From the Middle.  James Scott Bell argues that there is a moment in every character’s life when they look in the mirror and have to face the big choice, and that moment both sets up the whole question and drives the change for the rest of the book.

The novel manuscripts I’ve finished all have this ‘mirror moment’.  I can find it.  I know exactly why it is there, and how it causes the rest of the story to unfold.  For Desie, my main character in CHOICE OF DESTINY, it was the moment when she chose to use what she knew to protect her two very young sons from being murdered by the Usurper Emporer.  The rest of the story is her accepting her destiny as a result of that choice.

In THE DUODECA PROJECT it is that moment when Jo realizes that only the information in her head will be able to stop the coming pandemic, if she is willing to face the cost.

In THE FINDER, it is the moment when Isabelle accepts her own truth, and choses to use her skills to save herself and the woman caught with her.  Everything after that moment unfolds because she decides to fight to save herself.

The manuscripts that are still in muse bombed pieces don’t have that moment, or the moment isn’t clear.  The lack of mirror moment totally explains why they are 60k word long vignettes and not finished novels.  Just learning this concept is helpful, because now I can see how to fix them.  I understand how to make them coherent wholes, with beginning and end.  That is exciting, and helpful, even if it is a little daunting.  I don’t regret writing them; they are huge vignettes of characters I love to hang out with.  I had to write them because writing is like breathing for me.  But, if I want to make them into pieces that will be ready to launch into the world, they need work to have more than just vignettes.  In the end, that is a good thing to learn.



A little flash in the Pan, and five good books

by eliwinfield in Musings, Novels, Updates

Hello dear readers!

I’ve been plugging away at a whole host of writing related things this last week or so, including the first stages of the big edit for ‘The Duodeca project’, research, and planning pieces for my novel ‘The Finder’ (my HTTS project), two flash fiction vignettes,  and going back to work on another older novel: Super School.

The Finder is currently in research ‘no man’s land’ and planning purgatory.  My main character is a psychic who found her first dead body at four.  Her antagonist is a serial killer who is currently stalking her because she found two of his bodies, and he is afraid she might be able to catch him.  During the planning phase, my muse decided I needed more information on everything before I could properly plan–police procedures, psychics, serial killers, everything.  Yes, yes.  I know the rabbit hole of research is easy to get lost in! I decided to limit myself to five good books.  I ended up with three on psychic abilities, one on serial killers, and one (a basic reference book) on police procedures.

There is a lot written about the paranormal, and the development of psychic abilities, but most of it has little or nothing to do with someone like Isabella, who has been psychic from childhood.  Or for that matter, the people in my own family. As my mother often tells me, I am related to a tribe of gypsies who made a living fortune telling before they escaped the old country.  My view of being psychic is a lot more pragmatic and a whole lot less ‘woo-woo’ than nearly everything available commercially.

In The Rational Psychic  Jack Rourke discusses his own experiences as a psychic.  He does a lot of debunking of various theories and phenomena.  I really liked how he emphasizes the need for appropriate emotional boundaries, and doing your own emotional work so that you do not project your own issues onto others.  It was a good read, and a useful resource,  His experience is a whole lot closer to my own family experience of psychic, (although no one in my generation has gone on to become a psychic on his level).

 The Reality of ESP by Russell Targ is fascinating.  It presents proof of ESP from the point of view of quantum physics, but it isn’t a book for the faint of heart, or for someone afraid of science.  Russell Targ is a physicist who originally worked with lasers; he and a number of others pioneered a program to develop ESP, in order to spy on ‘non-visible’ targets during the cold war.  The work he cites in the book is amazing.  He presents his work with a low key but reasoned approach.  I found it helpful, particularly how he organized the different levels and layers of skills, and their development.

Growing up psychic by Chip Coffey  looks good, but we will see once I start reading it in more depth. What I have read seems pretty reasonable, but I haven’t gotten very far.  If I start sputtering, or muttering, I will let you know.  It is one of the few that actually talks about parenting childhood psychics.

I decided to limit my research on serial killers to psychology and development.  I could spend years on true crime stories, but I don’t need that much detail floating through my already vivid imagination.   Serial Killers: the method and madness of monsters by Peter Vronsky  is a very thorough walk through  a difficult topic by an experienced journalist.  It is one of the few books that includes the psychological development of a serial killer, but there is a whole lot more in his book than just that,  While I find it an emotionally challenging topic, the book is extremely well written, and well researched. I’m just not speeding through it.

I also picked up a reference book for mystery writers called Police Procedure and Investigation by Lee Lofland, a police veteran.  The book is a solid basic text with a whole lot of information about police procedures with a US flavour.   It is just something to be aware of if you write in a Canadian or international setting. What it doesn’t do is go into a lot of procedural details, or flow charts or checklists.  I may let myself pick up one of the Canadian Police Procedural manuals, or Detective Procedure study guides I saw which do, eventually, but for now this is a good place to start.

I also wrote two flash fiction pieces this week, both little vignettes of Isabella’s life.  It is so exciting to see her develop as a person.

One of my big goals is to finish things and get those muse bombs into order and out the door as proper finished manuscripts.  So, while I’m doing research for the Finder, Super School is getting the attention it deserves.  So far, I’ve added nearly eight thousand words to the manuscript.  Another twenty thousand words, and the first draft should be done, I see the end, and (way more exciting) I know how it is going to end, or at least mostly how it is going to end.  I can hardly wait to finish it.

Muse Bombs

I’m sure, dear reader, that most of us who are writers have a stash of partial manuscripts hiding in different places in our house (life, garage, files, you name it…).  I know I do.  Another writer I know refers to these as muse bombs.  These last few  weeks  I have been unearthing  and filing my muse bombs–partial manuscripts, first chapter pieces, notebooks with good ideas and a few pages.  I have filled one box of hanging files and am starting on box two.   On the good side, I will never run out of stories. I will always have a backlog.  On the other?  Well, apparently, my muse likes to drop her toys all over the place and just leave them there, while she starts playing with other toys.  I have muse bombs littering my life.

These muse bombs are affecting my other writing, too.  This week my muse threw a muse bomb at me and took my writing for a ride, literally.   The new story starts with the protagonist being picked up by a truck driver on a long haul, and taking her along with him, and I now have 10K words on yet another manuscript.  Since the story started from the black box exercise in HTTS, I’m not complaining.  But, it doesn’t get my other pieces finished.  And finished and out the door is the goal of this year.

The Finder is turning very dark, with body parts and flowers as part of the stalking and psychological torment.  The previous boyfriend has now arrived at the hospital, and been the required jerk.  My DH muttered about me writing horror.  I don’t write horror, but this one is…definitely darker than I expected it to be. I was aiming for thriller.  I think I’m getting horrifying thriller.  I need to do some more research on a few pieces before the manuscript goes much further, however, so that piece is in a temporary time out.

Organizing and cleaning has still not unearthed the first half of the manuscript that was finished, Here be Dragons.  This is the manuscript I was going to take through editing with HTRYM.  This is the story that inspired the dragon theme in my Flash Fiction Collection, and it is a solid piece.  I have read it aloud to my primary editors.  However, three weeks of looking and  I still have only page 1, and pages 90-200.  My dear husband (forever known as DH) continues to assure me that it must  be somewhere in this house.

Organizing has, however, revealed four different versions of the Meningitis Plot, all starting at different places in the story arc, three different versions of The Reluctant Princess, and nine versions of Return of the Empress.  I am also 80% through Super School, and have a printed version of it.  (We won’t talk about the other mumblety number of pieces in the blue filing boxes, dear reader).   Like I said, I will never run out of ideas.

So in self defense and desperation,  I have once again returned to using  Flylady.  I  am working on getting the house back to easy to take care of and able to have company without stress.  I’m trying to build Space into my system and my life.  I have discovered that keeping the sink cleared and the dishes done takes far less time if I do it every day.  I don’t know why it surprises me that keeping it up takes less time than getting it to go in the first place.  So far, the habit is sink/dishes and 15 minutes in a zone.  I am trying to add put things away as I go, but that one is proving to be harder than I expected.  Perhaps my muse is following my inner diva’s lead?

In other news, I now have a fourth short story out for consideration and for some editorial review (my first piece for this kind of feedback).  It isn’t a long piece, but I am excited to see what the editor will think  of it, and what kinds of suggestions she has for tightening it up.  I have also taken some time to go through the catalog of  writing contests I purchased from Brian Henry at Quick Brown Fox and have started to enter them into my calendar so I write to a deadline.  No news on the first three, and that should happen any day now.

Welcome, dear reader…

by eliwinfield in Flash Fiction, Musings, Updates

It is a new year, and the by-word of my year is space.  Space to write, space to live, space to create.  I have vowed:  no more handwritten dusty manuscripts sitting hidden in a drawer, unseen by readers eyes, Too long have I hidden this gift under a concrete bunker of fear and circumstances, instead of letting this light shine for others to see, and share.

And so, though it is scary to let out the stories into the wild, I know I have to let go and let them become what they will be in the eyes of my readers.

This week, I started to create space in my mental drawers by finishing my edits on one of my longer short stories, ‘North Watch Keep’, and sending it off to my beta readers. My muse is pleased to share her toys, I think, and the story makes me smile.

I also finished writing the last two flash fiction pieces for my collection ‘Here be Dragons’.  I have been working my way through Holly Lisle’s writing courses, one of which is a course on how to write Flash Fiction.  It took me a while to get into the swing of the course, but I am very pleased to have gotten to the end of ten flash fiction pieces, all on the theme of  dragons.  Some of the pieces are modern, some fanciful, one is medieval (based on the novel I am taking through the process from How to revise your novel) and two feature characters in the novel I am starting in my How to Think Sideways course (a police detective story with a twist).

And, because, dear reader, my muse likes to share her toys, I thought I would share one with you:

The Finder

The psychologist looked at the worried couple in front of her, and then glanced at the bright cheerful seven year old, dressed in lace and satin, with black shiny shoes, poking around her office. The mother wore pearls and a rough silk jacket of navy. The father wore a cashmere and wool overcoat, over a faultless navy suit. Her hair was neatly, stylishly cut; its simple elegance contrasted with the worried lines spreading across her carefully maintained beauty.

“We’re hoping you can help our daughter.” the father was saying. “Our daughter has always found things. But, last week, she found the body of a missing boy, and we are afraid it traumatized her.”

His wife shuddered delicately. “It was awful. She snuck out of the condo, and she was missing for four hours. And then, there were all the police and the dogs.” And the press, she thought, looking at her husband, always the press, with their cameras and their unflattering pictures, and their cynical words. The man nodded, and reached out a comforting arm, putting it around his wife’s delicate shoulders. “It has to stop. She can’t just keep wandering off like that, and we are at our wits end.”

The psychologist murmured assurances, and watched out of the corner of her eye as the little girl went over to her cherry desk and snagged a pencil from the holder, and then went back to poking under one of her book cases in the corner.

“Isabelle,” the man said, softly, and the girl stood up, smiling at her father. “Yes, papa?”

“We are going to be back in an hour or so. Be good while we’re gone, and no wandering off.” She looked at him with dark, smiling eyes, seeing the concern and shrugging it off. They loved her, she knew. They just didn’t understand the voices that called her, and she accepted that with the quiet faith of a child. “Yes, papa.” And he led his still trembling wife away from the office, leaving his precious daughter, their only child, in the care of the psychologist.

The girl stood up again, clutching something in her fingers. Her fancy dress was now rumpled, one sock already falling down, and one of her pony tails rested drunkenly, like a sigh. Softly, as though she had practiced for hours walking like an adult instead of a romping child, she walked over to the psychologist. “Here.” she said, opening her hands to reveal glitters. “You used to wear these when you were happy. You should make them happy again.” And she handed the shocked woman her missing diamond earrings, and the great emerald engagement ring.  They were the glitters she had lost when she had thrown them at her ex-husband and former secretary in a fit of fury, after finding him on her secretary’s desk, his pants around his ankles, and his interest where is should never have been.

The girl picked up the pencil, and started doodling on the pad in the middle of the low coffee table as if nothing had happened.

When the couple returned, the psychologist was still fingering the earrings in her pocket. They would never understand their daughter, she knew, though they would always love her. The girl would never be able to turn it off her ability to hear those calling voices, but perhaps, with time and care, she would be able to know when she could follow them safely.

“You should get her a big dog to keep her company.” was the psychologist’s suggestion to the worried couple. “She is lonely. A mutt that is smart and careful with children, and that will stay with her if she wanders off again.” Because she would, the woman knew. She wouldn’t be able to stop hearing those calling voices.


If you are interested in following my writings, or joining my mailing list to let you know when new ones are going to be released in the wilds, leave a comment, and I will let you know when the subscriber list is up and working.

Until next week, dear reader.


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